The Terrorists Apprentice
by Gilgamesh The King of Heroes
Summary: A child lost and alone. One mad woman that enjoys blowing things up. One hell of a story! What would happen if young Harry Potter grew up the younger brother of a terrorist? He'd become like her, right? What if he didn't become her mirror image? After all, when one influences another, they will also influence you. Now, let's see what happens when we add Dues Ex Machina to the mix..
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Future Diary, any resemblance to any other Harry Potter or Future Diary fan fiction is coincidental and plagiarism is not intended. No flames please constructive criticism only.**

 **AN: Here's something I never expected to write in or ever bring back again. But what the hell, at the request of the brilliant Lupin Horror I give The Terrorists a thank you Lupin Horror for the new summary cause I forgot the old one...my bad.  
**

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The year was 1998 and currently one sixteen year old Minene Uryu was hiding out near St. Grogory's Primary School primary school located in Little Whinging, Surrey in England. Well to be more accurate she was hiding round the back of the school in some bushes near the kitchens. It was a pretty decent hiding spot should be good enough for her to lay low until nightfall when she could make her escape out of the country.

She currently disguised in some jeans and a green polo shirt that she'd stolen off some hood that was stupid enough to try and jump her.

Why was she hiding you're asking? Simple because she currently wanted by Scotland Yard for blowing up a particular cathedral that was hosting a meeting between Anglican and Catholic bishops in hopes of smoothing out relations between the two branches of Christianity.

"Those dipshits were practically begging for Minene Uryu to blow them to smithereens" Uryu Minene grinned to herself with a triumphant look on her face at having dealt yet another blow to God's lackeys "Serves 'em right where's their God now huh?"

At only Sixteen years old Minene Uryu was already wanted for countless acts of terrorism and assassination against religious institutions throughout the world. Many of her targets were Christian churches, cathedrals, religious figures like Archbishops, Cardinals amongst others. Not that she stuck to Christianity exclusively; far from it in fact she'd destroyed Mosques and Synagogues as well as killed Jewish Rabbi and Muslim Sheiks. It was just that Christianity was a bigger beast and thus an easier target.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by the sound of rapidly approaching footsteps. It sounded someone running.

"Shit did they find me already?" Minene mumbled to herself as she prepared to make an escape from the authorities.

The young terrorist relaxed as she saw it was only a gang of brats lead by what looked like a cross between a monkey and whale. They were chasing a scruffy black haired glasses wearing kid down the back of the building.

Minene sighed in relief and chose to watch the events unfolding from her hiding place; it wasn't like she cared about some kid being bullied. It would build character for the little wimp anyway. Then the fat kid threw a large rock which nailed the black haired boy in the back of the head sending him sailing over the bins nearby where the kitchen threw the left over food away.

He smacked his head as he flew and landed on his back on the other side of bin. Now that she could see him better the kid was pretty scrawny he could be more than six or so but it looked like no one had been feeding him properly, so she could be mistaken.

The terrorist continued observing and saw that the whale kid and his little posse where approaching.

"Well kid looks like the end of the line" Minene chuckled preparing to watch the impending beat down "Sucks to be you"

It was then that something happened that would change the young terrorist's life forever. An event that would forever change her perception of the world. She looked on as the fat kid and his gang closed in on the downed boy but as they got within beating range there was a loud bang like a gunshot or car backfiring. Uryu almost dived to the ground out of reflex but paused part way as she saw that the scrawny kid had vanished.

"Where'd the freak go?" one of the gang asked

"I dunno" the whale replied in a manner stupid manner "Let's keep looking he has to be here somewhere, he can't hide forever"

Minene was struck dumb as she watched the fatso and his kept searching around the bins hoping to find their victim. Unlike them she had seen where the scrawny kid had gone, she was used to targets trying to make sudden escapes after all but nothing like this.

The kid with black hair was now somehow to her astonishment on the roof.

"How in the actual fuck?" Minene asked herself

Uryu shook her head and made a decision. She came out of her hiding place and climbed over the metal fence and landed inside the school grounds, she then ran towards where the gang was searching for their victim.

"Hey brats take fucking hike" Uryu yelled while glaring at them as hard as she could.

They all turned towards her and ran away swearing to tell their parents or something like that, not that the terrorist cared. Minene looked up and saw some rain guttering that lead up to the roof.

"Kid no-one escapes from Minene Uryu in the end." Minene grinned with a mad glee while rolling up her sleeves and prepared to scale the piping to her objective.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

Six year old Harry Potter was lying on his schools roof in pain. The last thing he knew he was being chased by Dudley and his gang again. He was going to try and hide behind the bins near the kitchens when something hard hit his head and sent him crashing over the bin and slamming into the ground knocking the wind out of him.

As he heard their footsteps get closer Harry wished over and over again in his mind.

'Just let me be somewhere else, somewhere safe, somewhere Dudley can't find me' these thoughts and others swirled in Harry's mind.

Suddenly he was overtaken by the feeling that he was being squeezed through a pipe. After a few seconds it ended and he felt himself being dumped somewhere. He put his glasses back on which had fallen off of his face and saw that he was on the rooftop.

"Oh no I did it again" Harry groaned pitifully as he let his head relax.

The pain had not gone away and was begging to catch up with Harry as he heard a creaking and slight banging almost like someone climbing. Suddenly footsteps were heard approaching him.

'Well this is it I'm going to be punished again' Harry opened his eyes but only managed to see the silhouette of the person that had found him.

"Well kid that's a neat trick you got there" A person commented with a female voice.

'She thinks my freakishness is neat?' Harry wondered as consciousness began leaving him.

"I think you'll be really useful to me" She commented with elation "So I'll help you out and take you away from this shitty life you've got, but you have to stay with me forever got it?"

Harry saw no other option this person was promising to take him away from the Dursleys, away from the beatings and the pain.

"Yes I promise" Harry replied weakly his strength and consciousness beginning to fade.

"AHAHAHAHAHA that's great" She exclaimed ecstatically "You'd better keep to your word though or I'll kill your sorry little ass"

The last thing Harry Potter saw before things went dark was the woman's hand reaching down for him.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

After dumping Harry as was his name apparently, at a safe house, Uryu had interrogated him in order to find out where his parents lived. Only to find out that they had died in a car crash, Now Uryu had lived long enough to know bullshit when she heard it and this kid was defiantly being lied too. So before she drugged him with some sleeping pills she had managed to find out that his relatives lived at number four Privet Drive.

So now she was walking and had finally found the building where her targets lived. Uryu looked in the windows of the house and saw that the family was out. She looked at her watch and saw that it said five PM. That was good it gave her plenty of time to prepare her little surprise for these idiots.

So the terrorist leaped over the fence and into the back garden, she looked to make sure she was not being watched and let herself in the back door which the idiots had left unlocked.

After Uryu let herself in she set down the holdall that she was using to carry her 'equipment'. She got out the explosives and began rigging the detonators to explosive material and began planting it at strategic points throughout the house, not to mention a few in the sitting room. After about half an hour Minene's job was done and she stashed the holdall near one of the bombs in the house in order to ensure that it would be destroyed in the blast, she quickly snuck out of the house but not before donning a female police officers uniform from an officer that she'd ambushed and….well let's just say that her family would be in for a nasty surprise tomorrow. Her task complete she went out front to the street and waited, it wasn't long before a pair of headlights came towards the house and a grin crossed the terrorists face. She stood up and prepared the fake badge to enact her plan.

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Vernon Dursley slammed his car door closed in anger. The little freak had vanished after school and had not come back. Dudley was currently staying at one of his friend's house while he and Petunia tried searching for the little monster with no success.

"I tell you Vernon that boy has been a stain on our perfect normal life since day one" Petunia ranted angrily slamming her own car door closed

"I know he has Pet." Vernon replied as he fumbled with the front door keys.

"I-" Petunia was interrupted.

"Hey you two!" A sharp feminine voice cut off any further ranting.

The Dursleys turned to see a female police officer approaching them with her helmet on.

"Y-yes officer what can we do for you?" Vernon asked politely sure to mind his manners around a police officer.

"You can start by letting me in, we need to talk" the officer ordered as she flashed her badge "I'm Sarah Hanley with the Surrey Police I need to ask you a few questions."

"Y-yes of course!" Vernon replied as he opened the door.

'Sarah' was quick to follow the Dursleys inside. She was lead to the sitting room and sat down on a lone chair a ways away from the Dursleys who had sat on the sofa. Sarah grinned and took out a notepad and withdrew a pen.

"Alright let's see here…." Sarah muttered just loud enough for the Dursleys to hear "First where is your son Dudley?"

"What does that have to do with-?"

"I'll ask the questions here" Sarah snapped shooting the Dursleys a glare.

Petunia straightened as did Vernon at the venom in her voice.

"He's staying at a friend's house he won't be back till morning." Vernon stuttered sweating nervously/

"Good, good" Sarah nodded writing something down on her notepad "Now then do you have any relatives that are expecting a visit anytime soon?"

"No" Petunia replied equally nervous as her husband.

"Excellent" Sarah wrote something else down on her notepad and glanced at her watch seeing it was currently six PM "Now I want you to turn on your TV and switch to the news, do it now"

Petunia picked up the remote and complied switching the channel to the BBC news. As she was doing this Sarah removed her helmet revealing purple hair and eyes.

A picture of the rubble of a cathedral was being shown as the news anchor narrated.

"And this is all that remains of Saint Gregory's Cathedral after it was destroyed by massive quantities of the explosive material known as C4. The perpetrator of this horrendous act of terrorism was none other than the infamous terrorist Minene Uryu"

A picture of 'Sarah' appeared on the screen with a mad grin on her face. The two looked in horror as they realised that Minene Uryu was lounging in their sitting room with a psychotic grin on her face.

"Sup?" she greeted casually "And before either of you get any ideas, I've rigged your sofa cushions with pressure sensitive explosives, so if either of you gets up without my permission then, I'll blast your asses so far through your head, it'll turn the moon cherry pie red. Got it?"

Both nodded nervously and gulped silently praying that the terrorist would not become angry.

"Now then let's talk about your nephew" Minene said with a slight glare "And don't give me any of that 'his parents died in a car crash' bullshit. I know a lie when I hear one and I know that I saw that kid teleport onto that roof so spill it or else"

"Ok, but you won't believe it" Petunia said slightly hysterical trying not to anger the maniac in front of her

"Try me" Minene replied leaning forward with a psychotic grin.

"Alright, he's a wizard. A human born with the ability to use magic. They can levitate things; summon objects, read minds, brew potions that can make people look like other people." Petunia listed hoping to placate the terrorist.

"What about that teleporting thing can they do that too?" Minene pressed impatiently withdrawing a detonator from her pocket.

"Y-yes they call it apparition but they don't learn it until their sixteen, they need a license or something"

"Alright well if you know so much how come you haven't done this apparition thing yourself huh?" Minene demanded her thumb edging towards the red button on the detonator.

"I'm not one of them" Petunia begged "I don't have powers but my sister did the boy is her son"

"And why isn't she here now?" Minene snapped "And you better tell the truth"

"She was killed; she got blown up by some evil wizard" Petunia cried "Lord Voldemort I think she said his name was"

"I see" Minene nodded in thought "So where did she learn this stuff did someone come to teach her?"

"No she was invited to a school where they teach it" Petunia stammered "It's called Hogwarts; they send letters telling students if they're invited to attend"

"I see so the kid will he be invited?" Minene inquired stroking her chin thoughtfully

"Almost certainly" Petunia confirmed fearfully

"Alright so how will this invite come and when?"

"They use owls to send their letters" Petunia explained "The owl will come to deliver the letter of invitation, they find you no matter where you go, no matter how well hidden you are the owls will find you and it won't arrive until he's eleven."

"I see, that's nice to know" Minene said with a grin "Anything else I need to know? Any school supplies that need acquiring?"

"There'll be a list in the letter and you have to go to a place called the Leaky Cauldron in London and ask the barkeep to open Diagon Alley to you" Petunia instructed recalling everything she could about her sisters world from memory "Wait the way you're talking it's like your planning on taking him with you"

"Took you long enough to catch on dumbass" Minene replied her grin becoming a smirk "This magic could come in real handy with my 'exploits' if you know what I'm saying"

"b-but you can't-"

"What was that?" Minene snapped as she raised the detonator in her hand "It sounded like you said 'I wanna go boom' was that what you said? Because if it is then I'm all too happy to oblige"

"No no no no please" Petunia begged "I'm sorry I'm sorry"

The mad terrorist lowered the detonator.

"Finally some good manners" Minene said sweet tone "Now is that everything I need to know?"

"Yes that's about everything" Petunia replied still nervous

"Good then there's just one more thing I need" Minene said standing up.

She stretched until her neck and spine audibly popped.

"Now then you fatso" Minene extended her hand out towards Vernon "Gimme your wallet"

Vernon complied and the terrorist snatched it, she rifled through it and withdrew several twenty pound notes.

"Thanks for the cash" Minene chuckled and gave Petunia a mobile phone "I'm gonna leave. Now don't you dare move until I call that phone and tell you what I want you to do next. Remember those cushions are loaded I have a nifty little gadget that'll tell me if those bombs go off. So don't test me go it?"

Both of the Dursleys nodded fearfully as Minene made her way to the front door.

"Remember sit and wait for my phone call" she called as she closed the front door "See ya wouldn't wanna be ya"

Vernon and Petunia looked at each other fearfully and held onto each other as they did as they were told.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

Meanwhile in an area known to some as the Cathedral of Causality, an extremely large figure, towering with tens of feet tall that was barely humanoid in appearance and made of machinery, possessing a large, skull-like head, sporting spiked purple hair and a crown and wearing a large dark cloak, was sitting on a floating throne.

His assistant known as Murmur was panicking as machinery seemed to explode at random and bolts of purplish lightning shot around causing her to panic.

"Hey Deus" Murmur dodged as piece of metal that flew her way and impaled inside a wall. "Holy crap, I don't know if you've noticed but causality is being torn apart here WOAH"

Murmur dodged a large bolt of purplish lightning,

"My my" Deus stroked his chin ignoring the chaos occurring around him "My game is not set to begin for a several years and yet something truly miraculous has already occurred to one of my would be participants."

"And what could possibly be so interesting that you'd ignore all of this?" Murmur demanded dodging bolts of lightning and she pointed to the chaos occurring around them.

"It seems our participant has picked up a trump card" Deus said conjuring an image of one Harry James Potter who was currently laying on a mattress asleep "This boy how unusual"

"What is bossGZZZZZRRRRHHT" Murmur was zapped by a tray bolt of lightning and smoke came off of her burnt form.

"This boy, while I can causes ripples to happen around him I cannot make him ripple" Deus explained

"And just what in the hell does any of that technobabble me-BBZZZZZZZZZTTTTTYT" Murmur was again struck by lightning.

"It means that while I can cause events to occur around him I can't cause or alter events on him directly" Deus explained "Better yet this boy creates his own ripples in the pond as it were. I believe one of those ripples has already begun to touch one Uryu Minene"

"So what does have some sort of special power?" Murmur asked making sure to watch out for more lightning "You know besides the whole magic thing or is it his magic?"

"No even magic as chaotic as it is has a certain predictability to it" Deus replied thoughtfully "I doubt its anything the boy is even aware of, I scanned him quite thoroughly and apart from being your average child abused wizard with a madman's soul fragment in his head. He's absolutely unremarkable as far as I can tell. Better yet his 'protection' extends to Minene whenever she's near him; it's sort of like being in the eye of the storm"

"None of that makes any sense" Murmur complained rubbing her head to sooth her migraine "So if this protection thingy is coming from him but he's not causing it then what is?"

Deus turned to his assistant and looked at her with an extremely wide and creepy grin which caused her to flinch as the collapsing around them settled down.

"I don't know" Deus exclaimed ecstatically and burst out laughing.

"But shouldn't you pissed?" Murmur asked anxiously "Doesn't it screw up your plans if this kid goes around messing things up?"

"Murmur whoever said that he was messing things up?" Deus boomed through laughter "No I think he'll really spice the game up. Imagine it a rogue element, which not even I can predict. No one will know what he'll do next, not even me and that's what excites me. After all these millennia of knowing what will happen one thing after another, finally not knowing something makes me both restless and excited. Now Murmur let us observe and see how events proceed"

With this both Deus and Murmur looked opted see how things would play out from here.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

By time Minene had finished her conversation with the Dursleys and left them, night had finally fallen. The wanted criminal wandered until she found a fast food joint that was open twenty four seven. Luckily it seemed like the idiots running the place where half asleep as the graveyard shift had begun. It probably helped that she'd returned to the clothes she was wearing earlier after dumping the police uniform in a ditch.

After ordering some food and paying for it. Uryu had left the fast food place and was now sitting on a car hood opposite number four and was looking in to the house while munching on a burger. She saw that the two hadn't moved as per her instructions. So Minene put the bag containing the rest of the food she had bought on the ground as she finished off the burger she had been eating.

Minene dialled the disposable cellphone she had given the two using her own disposable one. She saw them flail without standing up and watched as the woman slowly answered it.

" _H-hello?"_ she stammered

"I see you were smart enough to follow my instructions that's good" Minene complimented

" _S-s-s-so w-what happens now?_ " Petunia asked nervously.

"Now you shut the hell up listen to what I have to tell you" Minene replied with a grin.

She stood up and picked the food bag off the ground as she walked down the street and away from the house. After she was far enough away she resumed talking.

"Now I just wanted to clear up a common misconception" Minene said calmly "My explosive materials don't actually kill people"

She heard sighs of relief coming from down the phone as she walked down the street as she casually pulled out the detonator.

"It's the explosions they cause that do" The purple haired terrorist yelled gleefully as she pressed the button on the detonator.

As Minene made her way down the street and turned the corner number four privet drive exploded erupting into a huge fireball that took numbers three and five with it and causing, this in turn caused other houses to erupt into conflagrations due to the gas pipes under the street that the explosions had ruptured.

"Well that's the final loose end all tied up in a neat little bow" Minene grinned to herself as she ducked into a nearby forest intending to use it as cover for the route she was going to use to head back to her safe house.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

When Minene Uryu had returned to her safe house she saw that her new charge was still asleep from the pills she had given him earlier.

"Good" She muttered "We'll talk later right now I have an escape to finish planning"

She spent the next few hours contemplating where she would take her new ward first. He had to learn the tricks of her trade and she would need somewhere relatively safe to do it.

Minene went through a list of people in her mind that could help her with this. The IRA were out they hadn't forgiven her for bombing a few catholic churches in Ireland. In fact she crossed off pretty much every religiously motivated terror organisation, because most of them would probably stab her in the back anyways.

That left rebel organisations, drug cartels, non-religious terrorist organisations and others. Eventually she settled on Columbia she had a few friends in the FARC that owed her a few favours anyway. She had considered Roanapur in Thailand but quickly crossed it off, mainly because she wanted the kid to live long enough to be useful to her.

"Well Columbia it is" Minene said to herself as she pulled her phone and dialled a certain number. After a few seconds it was answered.

" _Hello_? _"_ the man on the other end greeted in spanish.

"It's rain dragon." Minene replied also speaking in Spanish just in case the call was being monitored.

" _Ah what can I do for you my dear?_ "

"I want to call in a favour." She stated speaking in code so anyone listening wouldn't catch on. "I have a budding artist here and I wondered if you had any professionals who could teach him my art form and a bit of yours?" she asked taking care to code her words just in case.

" _I think it can be arranged, especially for lady who has done so much for our group but which part of ours do you wish for him to learn._ " The contact replied cheerfully

"Scouting, basic hand to hand, electronic assembly and of course my art amongst other things of that nature. We'll be waiting for you at the third place near the second mountain." Minene informed her contact.

" _Very well just out of interest how old is your budding artist_ _?_ "

"Why the fuck do you want to know?" She snapped at his nosiness.

" _Now, now, no need to be grumpy my lady I'm simply curious, some artists are easier to teach than others depending on their age._ " the contact replied attempting to sooth Minene's temper.

"He's six!" Minene answered with annoyance

" _Six? Did you pop him out yourself?_ " the man asked barely containing his laughter at the thought of her getting knocked up.

"FUCK YOU, YOU LEWD BASTARD, I WOULD HAVE BEEN TEN WHEN I GAVE BIRTH TO HIM DO YOU WANT ME TO CRAM A GRENADE DOWN YOUR THROAT?!" Minene roared down the phone.

Her ward didn't stir fortunately, it seemed those were some powerful sleeping pills that she had given him.

" _My Apologies it was just a joke lighten up._ " came the placating reply

" _How about I lighten you up by shoving a rocket up your ass and setting it off_?" Minene growled back angrily.

"So back to the matter at hand how soon will you be here?" the contact asked still annoyingly calm.

"Three to five days." Minene replied still angry at his sheer nerve.

"Ok we'll be waiting at the place you specified." The contact then ended the call abruptly.

"Fucker" Minene growled tossing the phone aside before sitting in a nearby seat and closing her eyes to take nap.

It would a tense few days ahead.

"Well kid you've got some learning to do if you wanna stick with me" Minene yawned "And you will be sticking with me"

She then allowed sleep to take her.

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	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Future Diary, any resemblance to any other Harry Potter or Future Diary fan fiction is coincidental and plagiarism is not intended. No flames please constructive criticism only.**

 **AN: If I didn't mention it already I have bumped the timeline up by ten years. Also I am doing Foreign languages differently on Lupin Horrors advice. Just a heads up**

"Normal Speech"

" _Foreign Language_ " Portuguese in this chapter

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 _Five years later_

Riding in a black limousine along with several body guard escorts was Cardinal Francis Richelieu. He was currently riding in a secure motorcade escort in Brazil, specifically Rio de Janeiro after being sent by his holiness the Pope on a mission to ensure the strength of the faith in the country.

The reason for his secure motorcade escort was the sighting of Minene Uryu in the country. Anyone else would have run away in fear of the infamous god hating terrorist but not Richelieu. No if he ran away then it would send the message to their followers that god's holy men were cowards and Richelieu was no coward.

Ever since Minene had killed the cardinals that were meeting with Anglican bishops five years ago she'd only dealt greater and greater blows to all of the Abrahamic religions but the followers of Christianity seemed to be her favourite target. She had gotten only bolder since her murder of the Cardinals and had even issued Richelieu with a death threat.

The Pope had ordered Richelieu on this holy mission before the death threat was issued, but when the threat was issued the Pope had changed his mind and planned to cancel the mission. Richelieu had managed to convince his holiness otherwise through great persuasion. He would not allow this heretical she-devil to dictate where the church went and when it did so.

Suddenly the limousine came to sudden halt causing Richelieu to be jerked violently forwards.

"What is going on?" He demanded of one of the men serving as his bodyguards "What is the taking so long?"

"I will check your eminence" the bodyguard said picking up his radio "Car one, status update, what's the hold up?"

" _Sorry main car_ " Came the apologetic reply " _We're just checking something out it shouldn't take-_ "

A loud noise cut off the radio.

*boom*

"What was that?" Richelieu demanded as the sound came again this time closer.

*boom*

Another it was clearly an explosion, but where was it coming from?

*Boom* *Boom* *Boom* *Boom* *Boom* *BOOM* *BOOM*

The explosions seemed to be happening all around them but they couldn't actually see them nearby except for a few fireballs coming over rooftops.

"Get us out of he-"

The bodyguard was cut off as the car in front of them exploded. The fiery wreckage flipped upwards and crashed down blocking the road ahead. The same happened with the car behind and the one to the side. Unfortunately Corcovado Mountain was to the left side, so the car was unable to escape from its predicament.

*KABOOM*

Suddenly the car that Richelieu was in was flung onto its side and the Cardinal found himself flung out of the vehicle and through the air. As he opened his eyes he saw the vehicle aflame and his bodyguards dead. It seemed that the lord was on his side after all.

"Damn that witch" Richelieu breathed out as pain wracked his body when he stumbled to his feet. "But I will not be deterred I am Cardinal Francis Richelieu and I will not let that heretic scare me with her de-"

*Boom* *Boom* *Boom* *Boom* *Boom* *Boom*

The Cardinal paused as he heard six explosions resound from, above him? Richelieu looked up and what he saw nearly gave him a heart attack. The statue of Christ the Redeemer was falling from the mountain and it was rapidly descending towards him. Richelieu held his hands out in a feeble defensive gesture.

"NOOOOOOOO-"Richelieu's last word in life was cut off as six hundred and thirty five tonnes of reinforced concrete and soapstone in the shape of Christianity's messiah came crashing down on him, ending his life.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

Minene cackled madly as she ran through her escape route from the Brazilian police. Apparently they didn't take too kindly to her using a monument to kill a Cardinal for some reason. As she turned a corner and ran down an alley one of the officers yelled at her in Portuguese.

" _Freeze or we'll shoot Minene_ " one of the officers yelled as they chased her into the alley

" _Screw you_ _pigs_ " Minene yelled back impertinently as she pulled out a detonator and pushed the button.

Suddenly the wall behind her exploded killing her pursuers as they made their down the alley, in the ensuing blast. With them out of the way she ducked into a nearby sewer grate and continued her escape unseen thanks to the chaos that was occurring in the city.

Luckily the other bombs that her apprentice had planted around the city had caused enough chaos to keep the authorities busy and off of her tail as she made her escape out of the country. A boat was waiting along with her apprentice to take them both out of the country.

"I fucking hate third world country sewers." Minene complained as she waded through raw sewage "Ugh it stinks down here, first thing I'm gonna do when I get the opportunity is take a fucking shower."

After several more minutes of complaining and grumbling Minene looked at her pocket map and saw that it was time to leave the sewers. So she climbed up the ladder and out of the nearest hatch and sure enough she was now in the harbour. She could even see her escape boat ready and waiting.

She put on a helmet that she quickly nabbed from a nearby stall and placed it on her head causing more liquid sewage to be squeezed from her hair and come down her face.

"Lovely" she grimaced as she made her way to the escape boat.

As Minene stopped at the small Cabin Cruiser that was docked at the pier, it had enough food, fuel and water supplies to get her and her passenger to Venezuela and from there Canada. She'd had enough of hot countries for a while, it was time for a change of weather and chilly Canada sounded like just the place to get away from this damned heat.

As she got close to boat a voice confronted her.

"What's the password?" a youthful voice demanded

Minene was not in the mood right now, she was reeked liked hell, she was sweaty and hungry.

"Is it 'let me on board before I lose my patience and hurt you?' " She demanded impatiently.

Her response was a ramp being lowered towards the pier. She stomped across the ramp boarded the boat, but not before tossing the mooring line that kept the boat tied to the dock away. She then jumped down into the boat and stomped towards the helm of the Cabin Cruiser.

Waiting for her, dressed in a green Hawaiian t-shirt with purple shorts and trainers was her eleven year old apprentice Harry Uryu, though his birth name was Harry Potter. She'd officially renamed him a few years ago on a whim. Not that it was legally official or anything but that didn't really matter to her.

The first thing he did upon seeing her was to crinkle his nose in disgust.

"Ugh jeez Minene I thought I planned that escape route for you to go 'through' the sewer not take a swim in it" he chuckled at her expense.

Minene was annoyed, not only at his smartass remark but at the fact that she was hungry and he was munching on a hotdog while being a smartass. Her revenge came in a simple manner.

"That does it c'mere" she grabbed Harry and put him into a headlock causing him to drop his hotdog onto the floor, as this happened she clenched her free hand into a fist.

"Hey hey hey wait wait" Harry begged knowing what was about to happen "I take it back I'm sorry."

"Too late punishment time" Minene grinned and brought the fist down, gently applying it to the top of his skull.

"Hold on wait no!" Harry pleaded knowing it was futile.

His pleas went unheard as Minene began to rapidly and began to vigorously rub her knuckles along his scalp. Harry flailed in pain and kicked the control which started the boats engine causing it to proceed aimlessly away from the docks. Not that this deterred Minene of course she kept her noogie up until she saw blood leaking from the top of Harrys skull. Satisfied that he'd been sufficiently reprimanded she stopped. Then Minene removed her and clothes tossed and them overboard, then she dumped some ocean water over her body and then dried herself off, before putting on some fresh clothes and taking the wheel.

"So where to next?" Harry asked rubbing his head painfully.

"To Venezuela and then Canada" Uryu replied slightly more cheerful now that she stunk less and the fact that her plan went off without any major hitches, well except for the sewer part but that was a moot point now. "By the way some of those diversionary explosions were in weird places what was with that?"

"Oh I just left them a little message was all" Harry grinned smugly

Minene looked at her apprentice and contemplated asking him what he meant but then she decided that it was unimportant so she simply shrugged it off.

Harry was good at distractions and his part of their operation was logistics and minor support, none of the authorities knew that he existed so they weren't after him. This was due to the fact that they kept far away during operations. He would wait near the escape route for her or hidden inside the escape vehicle that was prepared ahead of time. Shaking her head she resumed steering the boat which was now far away from Rio and continued heading north.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

In a police station in Rio de Janeiro, Lieutenant Fernando Rodrigues was beyond angry. The city was in chaos and he was still waiting for a status report on what exactly had happened. The army had moved in to help calm the panicking public down.

An officer finally came up to him holding a large map.

"Report" the lieutenant ordered

"Sir, our report concludes that the bombings around town were only a diversion to allow the escape for the person that assassinated Cardinal Richelieu to go off more easily." The officered reported diligently "We believe the weapon of choice was the Christo Rendentor itself."

"What?" Fernando snapped "Who on earth would topple a monument just to kill one man even if he is a Cardinal?"

"We have concluded that the perpetrator was none other than Minene Uryu the terrorist sir" the officer stated

"Minene? Impossible" Fernando barked "There is no way one woman could do all of this damage and topple a monument in order to kill one man. No it has to be the work a large organised group"

"But sir we have proof" the officer stuttered "The materials used in the explosives are consistent with ones that Minene recently used explosives in other countries and she was sited running from pursuing officers throughout the city"

The officer handed over a map which Fernando snatched and opened. It was of the city and had black dots over it.

"What is this?" Fernando demanded impatiently slamming the map on his desk

"The sites of the diversionary explosions sir."

Fernando starred at the map for second before he saw something and snatched a pen from the officer. He connected a few dots until it formed the letter M.

"M what could that-" Fernando paused as he saw more letters.

He began connecting the dots and as he spotted more letters he connected the dots on those as well until finally a message was spelt out, he glanced at it for a few seconds before calmly turning to the officer.

"Officer please leave my office and wait outside" Fernando ordered.

The officer complied and left through the door less exit. He stood outside and waited.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHH!" the Lieutenant let out a scream of frustration and anger so loud that all activity in the station stopped and looked his office.

The map drifted out gently and the officer picked it up. He read the message and his eyes bulged at what it said.

' **Minene Uryu was here** ' was spelt out over the map of Rio de Janeiro.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

Harry opened his eyes and found himself in the Causality Cathedral. He looked up to see Deus Ex Machina staring down at him from his throne which rested in a broken semi-sphere, which hovered in the centre of a wide circular platform, supported by a column, the kind that you would see in Greek architecture, it was surrounded by twelve such structures. He'd first met Deus and Murmur about three years ago, apparently Deus found him interesting, something about Harry being an anomaly

They spoke about numerous subjects and Harry had learnt quite a bit from Deus who as the God of Space and Time knew more than anyone about the universe and how it worked. For example Sun Tsu wrote the Art of War while he was completely drunk off of his ass. It was kind of scary, if the greatest strategist in human history could write such an important guide while drunk then what could he have done while sober and focused?

"Ah Harry you're here good" Deus said with his usual grin "It's that time again"

With that a Deus sized chess board appeared floating between them. Deus could move his pieces manually however Harry had to call out to his pieces and they would move according to his commands. Deus gave Harry a chair that floated above the board so he could see what was going on properly. If there was one thing Deus liked it was fairness, he was a man of honour and never cheated and always played fair.

"You want another re-match Deus?" Harry asked "Alright let's do this"

Harry sat down in his seat which floated to give Harry a bird's eye view of the board. Deus was playing as white this time. Minene eventually appeared and stood next to Murmur who was reading some manga, not at all interested in the chess match that occurred weekly at pretty much the same time.

"So they're at it again?" Minene asked watching the match occur between her apprentice and what essentially was God.

"Yup" Murmur replied reading her manga "It seems he either never learns or just doesn't to be known as sucking so badly at this kind of game"

"Checkmate" Harry called out signalling his victory

"DAMN IT" Deus roared in anger.

It was amazing how the God of Space and Time, controller of the Akashic Records (AN: Not a fate reference this is actually Future Diary cannon) and supreme ruler of the universe could suck so badly at chess. He'd challenged Harry once a week every week at the same exact time for three years now and not once in those three years had he ever beaten Harry in a match.

"Hey kid we arrived in Venezuela a while ago" Minene called out to Harry "We're currently in a pretty decent safehouse. We'll get going to Canada in a few days."

"Tell me you at least took a shower first cause you still smelt like the sewer the last time I checked, just so you know" Harry commented with a grin.

"You little wise ass, this place exists in the space between human imagination, it's an Illusionary world remember?" Minene reminded him with anger colouring her voice "So you have to wake up some time and when you do its noogie city."

With that Minene vanished leaving a cackling laughter behind.

Harry looked up at Deus.

"I don't suppose you'd let me hide out here until she simmers down?" Harry asked nervously.

"You'll be receiving some very interesting mail soon young wizard" Deus said ignoring him

"OK but what about hiding out?" Harry asked anxious.

Deus simply leant down and grinned at him.

"Noogiedmansayswhat?" Deus asked quickly

"What?" Harry asked confused suddenly his floating chair vanished causing Harry to fall down the long drop in the space between the platforms. This meant one thing Harry was being ejected from the Cathedral.

"AAAAASSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHOOOOOOOLLLLLLEEEEE!" Harry called up as he was sent plummeting back to reality.

Murmur peeked down the gap where Harry had fallen.

"You can be a real dick sometimes boss you know that?" Murmur commented sardonically.

Deus responded by laughing deeply at his assistant.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

Harry awoke after Deus had thrown him out of the cathedral and the first thing he found was that he could not move because of a strong grip around his neck. He grimaced and opened his eyes to see Minene grinning down at him; her knuckles were already touching his scalp.

"I don't suppose an apology would help me out right now would it?" Harry asked nervously.

Minene simply shook her head still grinning. Harry resigned himself to his fate and the noogie began. A few minutes and a bleeding scalp later Harry had finished cleaning the blood off of his head just as a tapping came at the window. Harry reflexively ducked behind the doorway out of site just in case the law had found them.

"Get out of there you idiot" Minene sighed walked past him "We're fine here; no one even knows that this is where we're hiding out."

Minene walked over to the window and let in a bedraggled owl that was clutching an envelope. She quickly snatched the envelope from the owl which had an indignant look on its face and regarded the address.

 _Mr. H. Potter_

 _The Back Room_

 _Orinoco River Safehouse_

 _Delta Amacuro_

 _Tucupita_

"Crazy wizards and their stupid tracking magic. There's gotta be a way to block it, I'll have to do some research about that when I get the chance" Minene grumbled.

She turned the envelope over, broke the seal and opened the letter up. Then the woman terrorist pulled out two pieces of parchment and took a look, the first piece read:

 **HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY**

Headmaster: ALBUS DUMBLEDORE (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorcerer, Chief Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confederation of wizards.)

 _Dear Mr. Potter,_

 _We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1st. We await your owl by no later than July 31st._

 _Yours sincerely,_

 _Minerva McGonagall,_

 _Deputy Headmistress._

"Humph pretentious bastards" Minene snorted

She took the other parchment and began to read that as well.

 **HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY**

 **UNIFORM**

First-year students will require:

1\. Three sets of plain work robes (black)

2\. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear

3\. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)

4\. One winter cloak (black, silver fastenings)

Please note that all pupils' clothes should carry name tags

 **COURSE BOOKS**

All students should have a copy of each of the following:

The standard book of spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk

A history of magic by Bathilda Bagshot

Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling

A Beginners guide to Transfiguration by Emetic Switch

One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllida Spore

Magical Drafts and Potions by Aresnius Jigger

Fantastic beasts and where to find then by Newt Scamander

The Dark Forces: A guide to self-protection by Quentin Trimble

 **OTHER EQUIPMENT**

Wand

Cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)

Set glass or crystal phials

Telescope set

Brass scales

Students may also bring an owl or a cat or a toad.

 **PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS.**

"So what's the letter say?" Harry asked with yawn.

"Change of plans kid we're not going to Canada" Minene said "We're going to Britain"

"To Britain why?" Harry asked he wasn't too fond of his old home country or any country really, he preferred life on the move with Minene she was like a wild older sister…..that enjoyed blowing stuff up and killing religious people but you get the idea.

"Because you're going to school kiddo" She chuckled.

"What school? why?" Harry demanded suspiciously.

Harry possessed enough general knowledge, so that he could easily blend in any first or second world country and he was especially skilled when it came to electronics and chemistry mainly thanks to his training with FARC which began when Minene took him away from Britain. It was long and gruelling but it definitely paid off. Harry could make his own bombs, could put up a decent fight in Close Quarters and was pretty good at scouting out both urban and non-urban terrain.

"Because you're going to learn magic" Minene replied ignoring Harry's tone "Remember your little teleporting trick? That's just the tip of the iceberg; when you've learned enough of this hocus pocus we'll never be caught by any of morons that are looking for us or rather me."

"Oh yeah" Harry said with realisation "You have mentioned that whole magic thing a few times over the years" He suddenly remembered a few discussions his older sister figure had with him concerning his 'abilities'.

Apparently before taking Harry with her on her 'adventures'. Minene had taken some time to have a 'chat' with his aunt who knew all along that Harry and his parents were magical and that an evil wizard called Voldemort that had murdered them, so they had not died in a car crash like they had told him.

"Well pack your shit kiddo because we're off to London" Minene announced "But first"

Harry's guardian grabbed some paper and a pen, and began writing a reply.

"Dear Professor McGonagall, Harry would be delighted to attend your school however we don't have the money to purchase his school items. Is there any way you can help us with this, please send your reply to this address within two days because we will be leaving it after that. Yours Sincerely Harry's Guardian Uryu" Minene narrated her letter before stuffing it in the envelope and giving it to the owl "You take that to that Professor McGonagall or whatever got it?"

The owl flew off out of the window soon left their sight.

"Well then that's that" Minene said brightly

"So now what?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Now we wait" she replied with a chuckle

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

About a day later when the owl arrived with the reply Minerva McGonagall was currently standing outside the door to the headmaster's office. She quickly opened the door and strode towards Dumbledore who was currently sat at his desk attempting to solve a rubix cube.

"Albus" She said loudly grabbing his attention and thirsting the letter towards him "The letter found him and we have a reply. He's overseas in Venezuela, what in Merlin's name is he doing there?"

"Ah Venezuela" Albus said as he read through the reply "I took a sojourn there when I was going around the world several decades ago as I recall"

"Albus" Minerva snapped "This is serious what if he is in danger? You know what happened to Dursleys and what if this Uryu person is worse what if they murdered the Dursleys?"

"Minerva I investigated and I assure you the Dursleys died due a gas main exploding" Dumbledore replied in a reassuring voice "There was no trace of magic at the site, and if Harry was in danger from Ms Uryu then we would not have likely received a reply. Besides we have no evidence that this Uryu person was responsible for what happened so throwing around baseless accusations will get us nowhere."

"Well we should do something, maybe remove him from this Uryu person until we can determine if they're safe" Minerva suggested.

"No Minerva that is a terrible idea" Dumbledore replied gently "Harry has been with this person for five years that is long enough for them to establish themselves as a very important figure in Harry's life."

"Well why can we not simply use a memory charm or a potion to make him forget this Uryu?" Minerva asked demandingly "That way it won't be an issue and we can restore them if Uryu is safe"

"For a couple for reasons Minerva" Dumbledore sighed massaging his temples "Firstly if Harry's bond with Ms Uryu is strong enough then even the greatest memory charm nor the strongest potion will be enough to keep Harry from remembering her and this will serve to only alienate him from us. To the unenlightened Love might seem like meaningless words but Love, even more so than any spells cast, rituals undertaken, or potions brewed, will forever be the strongest of magic's. Other magic's might be able to delay Love for a while but ultimately it will prevail. You see Minerva despite what some in our society might think we who have magic are not gods our powers have limits or do I need to remind you of Gamps laws of elemental transfiguration?"

"That is completely different Albus and you know it" Minerva said "But what will you do then?"

"I will adopt a wait and see approach, have some of the professors take note of Harry's behaviour" Dumbledore answered "No matter how well you train someone glimpses and hints of what they have done to Harry will sheen through giving us clues about the person in question. I will not remove him from a person he loves based on our worries. He is alive and we will see what kind of person he is. That is my final word on the matter"

Dumbledore wrote a reply and tied to an owl which flew off.

"My reply told them you will give them the key to Mr Potters vault in three days. Around the time you intend to show Ms Granger around isn't it?" Dumbledore asked

"Yes it is, I'll give them a list of stores they need to go to while I show the Grangers around." Minerva replied "The reply I received seemed to indicate some familiarity with our world so they probably don't need a guide. But I shall ask just in case"

"Very well" Dumbledore said as he went back to his rubix cube.

Minerva McGonagall simply sighed and strode out of the Headmasters office.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

After about another day, some packing and preparing, ten water bottles, six ready meals and seven noogies later the owl finally returned with the reply letter. Minene took it from the owl and read it.

"Dear Ms Uryu

We are pleased to know of Mr Potters safety and Professor McGonagall will be waiting for you approximately two days from now in the Leaky Cauldron to give you the key to Harry's vault key for Gringotts the wizarding bank. The Professor will be able to guide you around along with another new student and her parents on that day. We hope that this is not an inconvenience and Professor McGonagall will provide a list of shops where the necessary school Equipment can be acquired just in case there is an emergency that requires her attention.

Yours Sincerely Professor Albus Dumbledore"

The terrorist thought what she'd read over for a few seconds before she realised something.

"Wait a minute I never gave my gender in that letter I sent, so how did they figure it out? Minene demanded with annoyance and slight paranoia.

"Maybe it was just an assumption or a lucky guess?" Harry suggested with a shrug before leaning back into the sofa he was sitting on.

"Humph maybe" she snorted "Anyway we're all packed up, so we'll get going as soon as my disguise on."

She left the room and after a few minutes she returned wearing a pair of yellow shorts and blue polo shirt. Covering her purple hair was a brown wig that was tied into a bun and her purple eyes were now coloured hazel as well, clearly thanks to a pair of contacts.

"What's the matter no smart ass remarks?" She asked with a smirk

"I've had eight noogies in the past twenty four hours alone, I'd rather not make it nine if it's all the same to you" Harry replied dryly

"Aw what's the matter afraid to go for the record?" Minene chuckled.

"I've lost enough blood from my head for now, but thank for offer anyway" Harry replied sarcastically.

"I disagree come here kid" with that she leapt over the sofa.

Harry was already on his feet and running away but Minene was hot on his heels.

"Come on Harry let's make a world record the most noogies within twenty four hours" Minene called after him playfully

"NOOOOOO!" He yelled with panic trying to shake his crazy custodian off.

But she would not be shaken off so easily, years of running from pursuers in the Middle East when she was young and from the authorities after her bombings had made her extremely fast on her feet.

So it was really only a matter of time before she caught Harry once again. Minene dove for her young charge just as he was attempting to run around a corner. They tumbled over each other and rolled until they slammed into a wall.

She hauled Harry to his knees and got him into a headlock once again ignoring his loud protests and denials. After tightening her headlock to prevent him from escaping Minene put her knuckles to his head, after feeling her knuckles touch his head, Harry's attempts became even more desperate than before. But it didn't help him and the noogie began.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Future Diary, any resemblance to any other Harry Potter or Future Diary fan fiction is coincidental and plagiarism is not intended. No flames please constructive criticism only.**

 **AN: I apologise for any spelling or grammar mistakes I have missed**

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

After a plane trip and some help from contacts of Minene's, she and Harry had arrived in Britain. She was still wearing her wig and contacts in order to keep herself from being recognised.

They had arrived at the London safe house and had dumped their stuff there. It was a decently sized place in the shadier part of London's East End. The contact was smuggling in some explosives and would deliver them later.

After they had settled in Minene after touching up her disguise took Harry went looking for the Leaky Cauldron. By some stroke of luck they stumbled across a man in funny looking robes and Harry asked him for directions, he had told them where they could find the pub. That was how the two found themselves looking at the pub in question.

"What a shit hole" Minene commented after a few seconds of examining the place.

"Might as well go inside" Harry sighed and pushed the door open.

His guardian followed him inside and the two saw that the inside was very dark and shabby. A few old women were sitting in a corner, drinking tiny glasses of sherry. One of them was smoking a long pipe. A little man in a top hat was talking to the old barman, who was bald and looked almost like a walnut.

The two approached the bar and walked up to the barkeep.

"Yo Barkeep we're look for Professor McGonagall is she here?" Minene asked while keeping a look out just in case someone recognised her.

"The names Tom" He introduced "She's over there with the muggles"

"Muggles?" Minene raised an eyebrow questioningly

"Non-magical folk" Tom clarified

Tom pointed to a group of four people and standing next to a bushy haired girl around Harry's age along with what Harry assumed was her parents, was a tall black-haired witch in emerald-green robes stood there. She had a very stern expression on her face.

"Yeesh the old bat looks like she's never been laid in her life" Minene commented under her breath.

"Thanks a lot I didn't need those mental images" Harry muttered back, this caused Minene to also shudder at the image which now invaded her mind's eye.

"Agree to forget?" she asked

"Done" Harry agreed.

The two sighed and approached the woman she turned to face them and her eyes widened slightly upon looking at Harry.

"Ah, can I assume that you are Ms Uryu?" She asked politely

"Yeah that's me" Minene confirmed keeping a wary eye on the bushy girl and her parents.

"I am Professor Minerva McGonagall" The Professor introduced herself "I am the deputy headmistress at Hogwarts, as well as the transfiguration teacher as well as the head of Gryffindor house"

"And you are Harry then?" The professor asked avoiding using his last name, not wanting to cause a riot.

"Yep that's me" Harry replied "And I know my name but I'd prefer to be called Harry Uryu if it's all the same to you"

"Very well Mr Uryu" she conceded

"So how do the kids get to the school?" Minene asked

"They go on the Hogwarts express which leaves from platform nine and three quarters on the first of September." McGonagall explained "In order to enter the platform you must walk directly at the solid metal ticket box that divides Platforms Nine and Ten."

Minene stored that information away for later. Now that she knew how to get to the school she just needed to know how to pay for supplies and where to get those supplies, then she and Harry could ditch the old hag.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

McGonagall had taken them aside to a quiet corner of the Leaky Cauldron and silently cast a few spells before putting her wand away.

"There now we shouldn't be overheard" she said "Now there is something you must know Mr Uryu. Harry Potter is a household name in our world, the reason for this is that you survived the killing curse. It is a dark spell that does just what the name implies; there is no known counter curse or effective shield against it. Yet somehow you not only survived it but sent it back at a particularly dark wizard by name of….Lord Voldemort. It is because of this that you became the Boy-Who-Lived. Back in those days he and his followers the Death Eaters who were originally named the Knights of Walpurgis leads reign of terror against the wizarding world"

"That's a ridiculous name for a group" Minene snorted derisively "Knights of Walpurgis at least tries to sound cool but 'Death Eaters'? I know guys who'd shoot themselves before joining a group with a name like that"

McGonangall frowned but continued as though she had not been interrupted.

"Last time Lord Voldemort was in power he started a war that almost brought our world to its knees." McGonagall went on "But to this day people still call him You Know Who out of fear"

"So why did he come to kill my parents that night?" Harry asked ignoring his big sisters grin having a sneaking suspicion that she was not going to let the Boy Who Lived thing go probably ever.

"I don't know, no one really does, perhaps he simply wanted your parents out of the way or perhaps he thought he could persuade them over to his side. While he was arrogant He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was an exceptionally skilled and charismatic wizard when he wanted to be and he was very skilled with magic especially when it came to the dark arts. I along with a few others do believe that Lord Voldemort is not dead yet as much as people would like to believe so."

"So you think this asshole is still alive?" Minene asked "So where is he?"

"We have no proof that he is still alive" McGonagall replied "And I doubt that the ministry would do anything without solid irrefutable proof. They have a tendency to bury their heads in the sand unless they can see the problem. Furthermore we have no idea where he is, if he is alive."

"So what proof do you have that he's alive then?" Minene growled with annoyance

"At the height of his power Lord Voldemort feared few things the prominent amongst them was the Headmaster Albus Dumbledore and Dying. We have reports from spies amongst his followers that he was obsessed with gaining immortality and had even found a way to live without a body. But we never confirmed those reports."

Harry and Minene were silent for a few moments allowing the information to sink in.

"So to recap I'm famous for defeating this guy when I was a year old and you think he's still out there somewhere am I right so far?" Harry asked

"Yes you are correct" McGonagall said shakily

"But how can someone live without a body that's impossible isn't it?" Harry asked

"You will find Mr Uryu that magic when stretched to its limits is capable of some of the most beautiful and foul things you can imagine. Particularly when used by someone as depraved as He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. But what kind of magic could allow for such a thing I'm afraid I cannot say, such things lie outside my realm of expertise" McGonagall explained

"Now then let's get going shall we? There are lots of things to buy and we are on a tight schedule." McGonagall became a bit brighter now that the subject was no longer being discussed.

The old professor suddenly stood up and the two followed her through the bar and out into a small, walled courtyard, where there was nothing but a dustbin and a few weeds. There was a bushy haired girl and her parents waiting for them. Apparently the girls name was Hermione Granger. Harry observed that she was bossy yet had a craving for knowledge.

That probably meant she would be great for research, Harry made a mental note to keep an eye on her just in case he needed her brain for research purposes.

Professor McGonagall took out her wand and tapped the wall three times with it. The brick she had touched quivered – it wriggled – in the middle, a small hole appeared – it grew wider and wider – a second later they were facing an arch-way on to a cobbled street which twisted and turned out of sight.

"Welcome to Diagon Alley"

Harry and Minene thought they'd gone back in time as they walked past buildings that were built in a Victorian style. There were shops that sold cauldrons, pets, wands, books and various other items both essential for school and otherwise. Harry could see the gears turning in his older sister's head. She was definitely thinking about something judging by the glint that Harry could see in her eye.

"Say professor are there places that you recommend avoiding?" she asked "You know shady places that might do dirty dealings and other such not so legal business"

"Yes there is Knockturn Alley it has many less than reputable places unfortunately all are sure to keep just within the law. They've learned to spot investigators into their practices and are thus able to hide the illegal items and services from sight." McGonagall replied offhandedly pointing to a dark and dingy passageway between shops that were off to the left "Why the ministry does not simply shut the place down I'll never know. Bribes most likely."

Harry could tell that his older sister had just made a mental note of that. Most likely to visit the place later to see what it offered. Suddenly he felt Minene nudge him, he looked at her and watched her eyes flick in the direction of McGonagall's pocket.

Harry sighed and using his well refined pickpocketing skills he withdrew an envelope from McGonagall's pocket. He opened it and pulled out a small golden key along with a note and list of shops. The note indicated that the key was for Harry's vault at Gringotts.

"What is it?" Minene murmured so that only Harry could hear.

Luckily McGonagall was too wrapped up in answering Hermione's questions to notice that anything had happened.

"It's a list of shops and a key to a vault in the bank" Harry whispered back

"Convenient."

Harry had rarely seen his big sister grin wider than she had been at that moment. She quickly snatched the key, the list and the note away from him then she gently sealed the envelope and put it back in McGonagall's pocket.

Professor McGonagall suddenly came to an abrupt halt as Hermione began rapidly asking her questions. Harry and Minene took this opportunity to slip away into the crowd unnoticed by the Professor and the Grangers.

"Alright first we'll go to this bank Gringotts and then we'll get your stuff and then to Knockturn Alley to what special services they provide" Minene listed off with a chuckle

"This should be interesting at least" Harry said as they approached a large area in the alley.

They looked saw that Gringotts was a snowy-white building which towered over the other little shops. Standing beside its burnished bronze doors, wearing a uniform of scarlet and gold, was some sort of creature that Harry assumed was a goblin.

The goblin was about a head shorter than Harry. He had a swarthy, clever face, a pointed beard and, Harry noticed, very long fingers and feet. He bowed as they walked inside.

Now they were facing a second pair of doors, silver this time, with words engraved upon them:

 _Enter, stranger, but take heed_

 _Of what awaits the sin of greed,_

 _For those who take, but do not earn,_

 _Must pay most dearly in their turn,_

 _So if you seek beneath our floors_

 _A treasure that was never yours,_

 _Thief, you have been warned, beware_

 _Of finding more than treasure there_

A pair of goblins bowed them through the silver doors and they were in a vast marble hall. About a hundred more goblins were sitting on high stools behind a long counter, scribbling in large ledgers, weighing coins on brass scales, examining precious stones through eyeglasses. There were too many doors to count leading off the hall, and yet more goblins were showing people in and out of these.

Suddenly the Goblins all abruptly paused in their work and stared at the duo. They could hear the Goblins whispering to each other.

"You can feel that presence on those two right?"

"Of course it's him no doubt about it"

"How did THAT happen?"

"That's one to keep an eye on"

"What in Guntera's sacred beard is HE doing involving himself with a human?"

The whispers along that nature continued even as Minene and Harry made for a counter. The guards around the bank were now noticeably more alert than they had been and were following Harry and Minene with their eyes cautiously.

"Excuse me" Minene greeted a free goblin. "We'd like to withdraw some money from Harry Potter's vault"

"And do you have his key, Madam?" The goblin asked with polite caution in his tone.

Harry withdrew the tiny golden key that he'd pilfered from McGonagall.

The goblin took it and examined it closely.

"That seems to be in order." The goblin said after he finished examining the key "I will have someone take you down to your trust vault. Griphook!'

Griphook was yet another goblin who wandered over to them. Minene and Harry followed Griphook towards one of the doors leading off the hall. Griphook held the door open for them. Harry, who had expected more marble, was surprised.

They were now in a narrow stone passageway that was lit with flaming torches. It sloped steeply downwards and there were little railway tracks on the floor. Griphook whistled and a small cart came hurtling up the tracks towards them. They climbed in and were off. At first they just hurtled through a maze of twisting passages.

Harry didn't bother trying to remember they had taken too many turns to memorise. The rattling cart seemed to know its own way, because Griphook wasn't steering.

Harry's eyes would have stung as the cold air rushed past them if not for his training with FARC when he was younger. He briefly thought he saw a burst of fire at the end of a passage and turned around to see if it was a dragon, but he was too late as they had plunged even deeper, passing an underground lake where huge stalactites and stalagmites grew from the ceiling and floor.

Eventually the cart stopped at last beside a small door in the passage wall. The three disembarked and Griphook handed Minene the lamp. Harry gave Griphook the key and the goblin approached the vault.

Griphook unlocked the door. A large amount of green smoke came billowing out, and when it cleared, Minene whistled. Inside were enormous mounds of gold coins. Huge columns of silver. Heaps of little bronze Knuts.

"The gold ones are Galleons" Griphook explained. "Seventeen silver Sickles to a Galleon and twenty-nine Knuts to a Sickle, simple enough"

Harry walked inside of the vault and gathered up as many of the Gold Galleons and silver Sickles as he could and stuffed them into a bag that he had been carrying.

"That's a lot of gold and silver" Minene commented with a devious grin.

"Not really" Griphook said offhandedly "This is only the trust vault, it contains approximately nought point nought one percent of the Potter family fortune"

Minene and Harry looked at the goblin with surprise.

"So how much were my parent's worth?" Harry asked bewilderment

"Hmmm our last estimates put the Potter fortune at…"Griphook passed for moment "fifty million pounds sterling"

Harry looked at Griphook for a few seconds before coming to a decision.

"I have a proposal for you Griphook"

The goblin raised an eyebrow in intrigue.

"I would like the Goblins to invest some of the money in my vault. In exchange Gringotts can take twenty five percent of the profit made while the rest goes to me."

"Twenty five percent is most generous Mister Potter, more generous than most of the pureblood families would be willing to give. Gringotts will be happy to accommodate your request." Griphook replied with a greedy grin "Is there anything else that I can help you with?"

"I'd like you supply my big sister here with a means to access the money in my vault." Harry said "She's my legal guardian and I trust her above all others."

"Very well she will be given access as you say" Griphook affirmed "Is there any other business you wish to attend to?"

"Yes I want you set her up with a safe house here in Britain that can't be found by muggles but she can find" Harry requested "I'll pay extra for muggle and magical luxuries"

"It shall be done a Gringotts representative shall contact you by the end of the week to set everything up" Griphook said "The cost shall be deducted from your vault, the total is approximately three hundred and fifty thousand galleons"

"That's fine" Harry said back "Our business is finished thank you Griphook"

With that finished the three exited the vault which Griphook sealed and got onto the magical cart which then sped off towards the surface.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

In the Cathedral of Causality Deus sat on his throne overlooking the events.

"It's nice to know that goblins haven't forgotten me" Deus commented.

"Well it is kind of hard to forget when the God of Time and Space staggers drunk and naked into your bank, singing old Norse war sagas while angrily dual wielding a pair of your own peoples custom made battle axes." Murmur quipped dryly

"Ah yes I remember that now" Deus said scratching his chin reminiscing "Good times."

"You realise that it was your drinking problem that got you into this whole dying mess in the first place right?" Murmur pointed out

"I did not and do not have a problem" Deus grumbled pulling out a firewhiskey and downing the entire bottle quickly "I can quit any time I want."

He then proceeded to pull of six more bottles and began emptying them of their contents one by one. Murmur meanwhile simply sweat-dropped at her boss.

"Oh brother who'd ever imagine that not only does god suck at chess but he's got the universes biggest drinking problem"

"I DUN HUAVE A PROBLESH" Deus roared already inebriated "I CAN QUIT AT ANDY TIME BDAMN YUSH"

"Sorry boss I speak a lot of languages but drunk ain't one of 'em" Murmur said

"screvw ayou" Deus said now completely wasted after his twelfth firewhiskey before falling off to sleep.

"Yeesh boss you need to learnt to lay off the booze" Murmur sighed gathering up all of the remaining firewhiskey "Now to hide this stuff where he can't find it"

Murmur promptly vanished to hide the magical alcohol where her boss couldn't get at it. It only caused trouble whenever he got his hands on this stuff. Magical alcohol was the only stuff that could get Deus drunk ordinary alcohol just didn't do it.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

After their bank business was finished Minene and Harry were back in the Alley and had crossed most of the stuff off of their list, He only needed a wand, a pet and some robes now. Minene also insisted that they at some point visit Knockturn Alley to see if they had any special services available.

 _Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions._

Harry entered Madam Malkin's shop alone, feeling nervous. Madam Malkin was a squat, smiling witch dressed all in mauve.

"Hogwarts, dear?" she said, when Harry started to speak. 'Got the lot here, another young man being fitted up just now, in fact."

In the back of the shop, a boy with a pale, pointed face was standing on a footstool while a second witch pinned up his long black robes. Madam Malkin stood Harry on a stool next to him, slipped a long robe over his head and began to pin it to the right length.

"Hello" said the boy, "Hogwarts too?"

"Yup" Harry confirmed.

"My father's next door buying my books and mother's up the street looking at wands,' said the boy. He had a bored, drawling voice. "Then I'm going to drag them off to look at racing brooms. I don't see why first-years can't have their own. I think I'll bully father into getting me one and I'll smuggle it in somehow."

Harry was had the sudden urge to throw the boy into a pit of angry scorpions

"Have _you_ got your own broom?" the boy went on.

"No" said Harry.

"Play Quidditch at all?"

"No" Harry said again, wondering what on earth Quidditch could be.

"I do – Father says it's a crime if I'm not picked to play for my house, and I must say, I agree. Know what house you'll be in yet?"

"No" said Harry,

"Well, no one really knows until they get there, do they, but I know I'll be in Slytherin, all our family have been – imagine being in Hufflepuff, I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"

"Don't know depends on how it affected my learning magic" said Harry

"So where are your parents?" the boy asked

"They're dead," Harry replied shortly "My big sister takes care of me now"

"Oh, sorry," said the blonde ponce, not sounding sorry at all. "You're sister is our kind is she?'

"No she doesn't have magic but I do" Harry replied with boredom in his tone.

"What so you're a mudblood?" the boy exclaimed and recoiled away from Harry as if he was something hideous.

Harry knew an insult when he heard one and Minene did as well. The last thing they needed was for his sister's infamously short temper to manifest itself. Harry wasn't really bothered by the insult as he had been called much worse, and mudblood sounded like a childish insult anyway. Minene however did not tolerate insults especially from snot nosed kids.

So in order to keep their cover and save the boy's life, Harry quickly got him into a headlock and gave him an extremely hard noogie. It wasn't too long before some blood leaked from the top of his head.

"My father will hear about this" he threatened "You'll be out of Hogwarts before you can step into the doors. You'll see"

With that the boy hopped down from the footstool and ran out of the door. Though whether he knew it or not Harry had just saved the idiots life. He could see his sister with a satisfied grin on her face. Harry sighed a let Madam Malkin get to work. Soon they bought the robes and left the store.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

Next on the list was a wand so they had to go to the wand store they needed to visit it in order to acquire a wand. So they made their way down the alley.

"So where do we get the wands?" Harry asked

"Some place called Ollivanders" Minene relied stowing the list of shops away.

Finally they found the store. It was narrow and shabby. Peeling gold letters over the door read _Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 BC._ A single wand lay on a faded purple cushion in the dusty window. A tinkling bell rang somewhere in the depths of the shop as

they stepped inside.

It was a tiny place, empty except for a single spindly chair which Minene sat on, giving a small glare to Harry in order to kill any protests he might have. Harry looked instead at the thousands of narrow boxes piled neatly right up to the ceiling. For some reason, the back of his neck prickled. The very dust and silence in here seemed to tingle with some secret magic.

"Good afternoon" said a soft voice.

Harry jumped slightly surprised at how all his years of training with FARC that someone had snuck up on him. Minene must have jumped, too, because there was a loud noise of banging wood and she got quickly off the spindly chair. An old man was standing before them, his wide, pale eyes shining like moons through the gloom of the shop.

"Hello" said Harry awkwardly.

"Ah yes" said the man. "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter" "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wand. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wand for charm work."

"My is Harry Uryu Mr Ollivander" Harry corrected the old man "I would appreciate if you used that name when addressing me"

"Very well Mr Uryu"

Mr Ollivander had come so close that he and Harry were almost nose to nose. Harry could see himself reflected in the old man's misty eyes.

"And that's where ..." Ollivander touched the lightning scar on Harry's forehead with a long, white finger.

"I'm sorry to say I sold the wand that did it" he said softly "Thirteen and a half inches. Yew. Powerful wand, very powerful, and in the wrong hands ... Well, if I'd known what that wand was going out into the world to do ..."

'Well now Mr Uryu. Let me see." He pulled a long tape measure with silver markings out of his pocket. "Which is your wand arm?"

"I'm ambidextrous but I prefer my right hand" Harry explained, he used to favour his right hand but his FARC instructor quickly kicked that out of him by breaking his right hand and forcing him to learn to use both hands at once.

"Hold out your arm. That's it." He measured Harry from shoulder to finger, then wrist to elbow, shoulder to floor, knee to armpit and round his head.

"Every Ollivander wand has a core of a powerful magical substance, Mr Uryu." Ollivander said as the measurements continued. "We use unicorn hairs, phoenix tail feathers and the heartstrings of dragons. No two Ollivander wands are the same, just as no two unicorns, dragons or phoenixes are quite the same. And of course, you will never get such good results with another wizard's wand."

Harry suddenly realised that the tape measure, which was measuring between his nostrils, was doing this on its own much to his sister's amusement, he could hear her clearly snickering. Mr Ollivander was flitting around the shelves, taking down boxes.

"That will do," he said, and the tape measure crumpled into a heap on the floor. 'Right then, Mr Potter. Try this one. Beechwood and dragon heartstring. Nine inches. Nice and flexible. Just take it and give it a wave.'

Harry took the wand and waved it around a bit, but Mr Ollivander snatched it out of his hand almost at once.

"Maple and phoenix feather. Seven inches. Quite whippy. Try-" Harry tried – but he had hardly raised the wand when it, too, was snatched back by Ollivander.

"No, no – here, ebony and unicorn hair, eight and a half inches, springy. Go on, go on, try it out."

Harry tried it and tried it and tried another but he had no idea what Mr Ollivander was waiting for. The pile of tried wands was mounting higher and higher on the spindly chair, but the more wands Mr Ollivander pulled from the shelves, the happier he seemed to become.

"Tricky customer, eh? Not to worry, we'll find the perfect match here somewhere – I wonder, now, yes, why not, unusual combination holly and phoenix feather, eleven inches, nice and supple."

Harry took the wand. He felt a sudden warmth shoot up through his fingers and up his arm. He raised the wand above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls. Minene grinned to herself like the cat that ate the canary.

"Oh, bravo! Yes, indeed, oh, very good." Ollivander cried "Well, well, well ...

how curious ... how very curious ..."

He put Harry's wand back into its box and wrapped it in brown paper, still muttering,

"Curious ... curious ..."

"What's curious" Harry asked Ollivander who had fixed Harry with his pale stare.

"I remember every wand I've ever sold, Mr Uryu. Every single wand. It so happens that the phoenix whose tail feather is in your wand, gave another feather – just one other. It is very curious indeed that you should be destined for this wand when its brother, why its brother gave you that scar.'

Harry breathed out deeply but otherwise felt unsurprised, for a moment he felt Deus may have a hand in this but the realised that this wasn't really his style. Deus was much more subtle than this when he felt doing something. Though for some reason Harry swore that could hear a drunken laughing in the back of his mind for some reason but he quashed it as Ollivander had started talking again.

"Yes, thirteen and a half inches. Yew. Curious indeed how these things happen. The wand chooses the wizard, remember ... I think we must expect great things from you, Mr Potter ... After all, He Who Must Not Be Named did great things – terrible, yes, but great."

"So what else can you tell me about wands?" Minene asked "Can the kid practice outside of school?"

"No each wand made has what is called the Trace on them" Ollivander explained "It tells the ministry the location of any magic used in the wands vicinity"

Minene nodded at the information.

'Yeah we're going to have that gotten rid of as soon as possible, if the look on her face is any indication' Harry thought to himself.

"Well we're done here" Minene said "Pay the man and let's go."

Harry paid Ollivander seven galleons and left the store with Minene.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

Minene and Harry drifted between stores, getting his cauldron and other miscellaneous items that were required for Hogwarts. Eventually they came to Eeylops Owl Emporium and bought an owl. Though Minene insisted that Harry find an alternate means of communicating with her as soon as possible because an owl flying in and out a place would draw a lot of attention.

After this was done Minene and Harry went to Knockturn Alley and purchased a small golden medallion that was charmed to prevent the wearer from being recognised by people they did not wish to recognise them. They had to look quite hard and pay a pretty penny but the Trace was removed from Harry's wand by a specialist shop called Nick, Nack and Shivers, which sold all sorts of items as well as provided extra services like Trace removal for a fee of course.

So with their business now finished they left Diagon Alley to return to the safe house. The goblins would owl them with the location of the new safe house, that they had prepared. As the shopkeeper had promised Minene was not recognised by anyone who otherwise should have when she was wearing the medallion. She even went up to a police officer and spoke to him directly and he didn't recognise her at all, facially and or vocally.

Minene chuckled at how things would be much easier with the cops unable to recognise her. She was so happy that she ignored most of Harry's smartass remarks on the way back home.

[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]-[-]

AN: And here it is chapter 3. The train and the sorting are next see you all then.


End file.
